Who Am I? Magician Or Mystic?

"Lead, O Kindly Light" - Keene Woods

A dash of a thought/a ponder years now but realizing something significant, I am more inclined to  mysticism than magic (shamanism):

I have known master Magicians. I have trained amd sat at their entrancing feet and fed on their every entrancing word and magical pass and, yes, in some ways I have been altered but, alas, after years of wasted time there at those "holy" feet,  I have not been altared.

A hard lesson: states of mind can be easily altered but what a mystic, Paul of Tarsus, says, renewal and transformation of the mind is not easy and without Grace it is not to be had at all, much less lived.

I have rediscovered that I am more inclined to the Mystic's path and not that of the Magician. Temperamentally I am more inclined to the former than the latter though I realize that the shadow lies in the Magician's path and have been forced upon it for the sake of some wrenching, humiliating and ultimately humbling encounters with shadow and the shadow of power and power of shadow. See my blogspot piece on "peaks and vales" that goes into this in more detail.
http://falconwarren.blogspot.com/2012/04/of-getting-low-down-and-vale-of-soul.html

OSHO [Bhagwan Rajneesh] discoursed (and I transcribe exactly from his English): "You start escaping into the other. Gather courage. Take a plunge into your being. Let us be acquainted with our own Center. Let us ask only one question, "Who am I?" All else is meaningless. Unless this question is answered all your love affairs, friendships are all nonsense. Unless this question is answered nothing is answered. Go into your aloneness. Let only one quest, "who am I?" And don't seek consolations because cheap consolations are available. The mind is very clever in supplying them. When you ask, "who am I?" and the mind can supply immediately and answer and the mind is very clever. Mind says, "You are god. You are a soul, immortal soul." These are the ideas in put by the Magician put in the heads of poor seep. The magician suggest to a few that you are lions, to few that you are eagles, to few that you are man, to few that you are even Magicians. That Magicians hypnotize the seep and told them that "you are immortal souls. Nobody can harm you ever. How [can] you be harmed? The Magician suggested [to] them that, "I am for you. I am the best master you can find ever and I exist for you. And I will do whatever is needed and I will do whatsoever is good for you. Even if I kill you I will be killing you just for your sake." You have been given these ideas by the society. Your mind is nothing but a projection of the society. It is society within you. The penetration of the society inside you. It is in the image of society. You have been told things and you have believed...this is not your answer. You have been taught by the Magician. I am not saying the answer is wrong or right. I am simply saying it is not your answer and when the answer is not yours it is wrong."

 

Active volcano, Popocatpetl, in Mexico.