Tuesday, May 22, 2018

Reprise Essay - The Stark Clarities, The Folded Bone, The Horrible Locution--Father Will In From The Violent Storm

[A violent storm moves toward Tlaxcala, Tlaxcala, Mexico and its central church, La Iglesia de San Jose, August 16, 2009. Click on the photo to enlarge the image. Photo by Warren Falcon]

Pretext

O
f storms and absolution at the outset, a context for Father Will, for us all as we fall with our Falling Star:

We know mythically that violent storms have served the offended Higher Powers to destroy old and no longer viable divine and human (cultural) orders. These storms arrive, post-destruction, to restore, renew, relink Creative Power(s) with creation and from that tempestuous interaction, with culture. It can be said, then, that culture is a crime of passion for even the gods fight amongst themselves (as they should for it is from this divine conflict that the "10,00 things" of creation are manifest), are subject to an Order/Disorder which we humans continually try to divine from which neither the gods nor we can escape, as poet Mark Strand writes, now "hurled down against the flat stones of our lives." Gods, too, are hurled down upon those stone tablets, unyielding codes, calcified cosmologies representing the flat world of old orders no longer viable because they cannot accommodate the horrific fact of their own shadow (projected upon creatures/creations), the shadow of the institutions formed around them, and of what humans with their brilliant but deadly shadows have been able to technologically create and in the creating awaken globally destructive powers. As our gods are so are our determined destructions. Our annihilating bombs along with our balms are images of our contrary and contradictory gods. It is we and creation who suffer them.

Thus we are startled awake, overwhelmed in this age of authentic anxiety, of pandemic sleep disorders, of pathological gods (Jung says our gods now show up as pathologies, as symptoms), their religions and our consequent spiritual bypasses warily, scarily aware of this cosmic set up in this crushing, cranking cosmological turn of the Wheel since the old and current centers and the meaning they once provided do not, apparently will not, hold because they carry internally their own apocalyptic seeds of destruction in order to be renewed, a process en perpetua, called renaissance, which is a hope but not a guarantee or given. We are in this condition where "the center cannot hold...things fall apart," to quote William Butler Yeats. Carl Jung indicates that we are moving through the threshold of chaos and kairos:

"A mood of universal destruction and renewal has set its mark on our age. This mood makes itself felt everywhere, politically, socially and philosophically. We are living in what the Greeks called the KAIROS - The Right Moment - for a “metamorphosis of the gods”, of the fundamental principles and symbols... So much is at stake and so much depends on the psychological constitution of the modern human.” -C.G. Jung, The Undiscovered Self 

"Kairos is the passing moment in which something happens as the time unfolds...it is a small window of becoming and opportunity. One of the origins of the word comes from shepherds watching the stars. As the night progresses and the stars turn in the sky, they appear to rise and then fall against the horizon. The moment when a star has reached its apogee and appears to change direction from ascending to descending is its kairos." --Corrigall, J, Payne, H, Wilkinson, H (eds), About A Body, 2006: pg. 201

Like it or not, Father Will expresses/compresses/distresses within this context of chaos and kairos, the falling star of our Aeon (symbolically, stars represent particular points and specific constellations/apparitions of consciousness). In so doing he speaks for us all though we may hide our heads in bestseller, consumerist New Age and similar sands, vacuous, temporary spiritualish confections, or alternately/alternatively, calcified and calcifying Fundamentalist invectives and insurrections, denial or bile by any other name, sympathetic magic flailing or doctrinaire dogma flagellating against the tragic condition of gods and man, self-righteous fingers or hand folded namastes pointing actively or passively at the scapegoated causes. This understandable but narcotic narcissism in the end will not lead us through this nekyia ("night sea journey") like Odysseus to that newly discovered inland terra firma where we must plant our hand hewn oar carried far from familiar seas and shores.

The fullness of this time, Kairos of the falling star (which is a violent storm, indeed), of cultural/cosmological dis-aster (meaning, ill-starred), is reliant upon human capacities such as they are, but effective enough, to proclaim, reclaim and proceed to ongoingly integrate shadow, human and divine, for it is the work not only of egos but of eras. It is also a time to grow equally enduring capacities for disorder, for chaos so as not to blame or punish gods, Nature nor humans for what appears to be a primary given of existence, entropy, which is inevitable social, physical and energetic decline and degeneration. In tandem with entropy there are or can be evolving human capacities for what I call syntropy where we may more consciously witness and participate in the inexorable falling apart while keeping meaning-threads in mindful hands while winding and finding our way within and potentially out of one labyrinthine Wheel Turn into newer ones of potentially creative/destructive formations. Ensuing personal, collective and cosmological gains may be derived from willful Time's twining whorl and wheal* for this Fateful ordeal of inevitable wandering is imposed by appointed rising and falling stars, ours and our cultures' scars the signatures of their greater impositions.

Ah, but now I hear Father Will growling, "But who or what is it appoints the stars?"

[* "wheal -- mark made on the skin by a whip," 1808, probably an alteration of wale, possibly by confusion with weal "welt," and obsolete wheal "pimple, pustule" (1440), from O.E. verb hwelian"to form pus, bring to a head."


[Portrait of Arthur Schopenhauer, the 1800's German philosopher and inspiration for our Father Will who reappears in this month's essay to quarrel, and in quarreling make confession, with Existenz, his own, mine, the Church's, the New Age and more because of and amidst the persistent agonies. Father Will returns to us here first introduced in my March 2009 Learning For Life Group Newsletter essay also found here on the blogspot (click 'March (2)' under 'Blog Archive'). The retired and retiring, troubled and troubling, goodly Father is a composite character, a convenient and necessary fiction drawn from my practice comprised of many, composed by one. I've chosen his name, Father Will, to signify Human Volition, Will to Power/Will to Cower in homage to Schopenhauer who wrote The World As Will And Representation (To get a sense of his philosophy go here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arthur_Schopenhauer). However, any resemblance to an actual person is completely accidental unless it is an oblique locution referring to me. Credit for the painting here of Herr Schopenhaeur is from wikipedia online: "This portrait of Schopenhauer was painted in April 1859 by J. Lunteschutz...This image... is in the public domain because its copyright has expired."


Further Pretexts for Absence:

Artaud warns his readers and listeners that each person who knows conflict and seeks to grow, must expect a shearing of flesh and a letting go of blood in the act of life which is a cruelty.

To be you can let yourself go until you just exist,
but to live,
you must be someone,
to be someone,
you must have a Bone,
not be afraid to show the bone
and to lose the meat by the wayside.

And what is infinity?
We do not know exactly.
It is a word
which we use
to indicate
WIDENING
of our consciousness
toward the inordinate,
inexhaustible and inordinate
feasibility.

...but there is one thing
which is something,
only one thing
which is something,
that I feel
wants to
COME OUT:
the presence
of my bodily
pain,

the menacing
never increasing
presence
of my
body.

To live meant to Artaud--to act, to hurt and be hurt, to experience fully joy and pain, and in so doing, to mold, create--and recreate oneself in the process..."I hate and renounce as a coward every being who consents to live without first having created himself."

--from Artaud, Man of Vision, Bettina L. Knapp, First Swallow Press / Ohio University Press edition 1980, from the Preface, pg. 217-218, pg. 214

And if the babe is born a boy
He’s given to a woman old,
Who nails him down upon a rock,
Catches his shrieks in cups of gold. -- William Blake***

Obit anus, abit onus ("The old woman dies, the burden is lifted") --Arthur Schopenhauer****

According to Julia Kristeva in the Powers of Horror, the abject refers to the human reaction (horror, vomit) to a threatened breakdown in meaning caused by the loss of the distinction between subject and object or between self and other. The primary example for what causes such a reaction is the corpse (which traumatically reminds us of our own materiality); however, other items can elicit the same reaction: the open wound, shit, sewage, even the skin that forms on the surface of warm milk.--from a Purdue University web article:
The abject for Kristeva is, therefore, closely tied both to religion and to art, which she sees as two ways of purifying the abject: "The various means of purifying the abject—the various catharses—make up the history of religions, and end up with that catharsis par excellence called art, both on the far and near side of religion".

--http://www.cla.purdue.edu/english/theory/psychoanalysis/kristevaabject.html

At times one might say: "In the beginning there was nourishment."

At times one might say: "In the beginning there was catastrophe."

Bion's writings give voice to the traumatized self. If Walt Whitman sings the body electric and catalogues joys of self, Bion details what it is like for self to be electrocuted and to continue as the remains...Destruction turns up and screaming substitutes for satisfaction. Bion is most keenly Bion in depicting destructive transformations of the scream as link. He is particularly master of the fading scream, the scream that dies forever, background radiation of spaceless space, the dispersed scream...Silence explodes...From nourishment to explosive wipe-out."

--from Damaged Bonds, Michael Eigen, H. Karnac (Books) Ltd, 2001, pgs. 29-30

In a field I am the absence of field. --Mark Strand

Becoming and transformation are tasks imposed on man by Fate, working both from within and without him, and this is something which man becomes aware of at the turning points, the crises of his existence. In so far as man experiences such crises with anxiety and under the image of inescapable death he also experiences himself as one disposed by nature to transcend his existence as it is at any moment and to experience and express previously unknown possibilities.

-- The Dream and the Underworld, James Hillman, New York: Harper & Row, 1979, pg. 113

This essay is dedicated to dearly departed Karen Eberle, Tien Ho, Walter Schell, and last but not at all least, the astonishing Marianne Annur:

"It means so much that we can be broken..." --Raul Voz, from Las Poemas Cornadas (The Cornada Poems)






























































































































































































Who Am I? Magician Or Mystic?

"Lead, O Kindly Light" - Keene Woods

A dash of a thought/a ponder years now but realizing something significant, I am more inclined to  mysticism than magic (shamanism):

I have known master Magicians. I have trained amd sat at their entrancing feet and fed on their every entrancing word and magical pass and, yes, in some ways I have been altered but, alas, after years of wasted time there at those "holy" feet,  I have not been altared.

A hard lesson: states of mind can be easily altered but what a mystic, Paul of Tarsus, says, renewal and transformation of the mind is not easy and without Grace it is not to be had at all, much less lived.

I have rediscovered that I am more inclined to the Mystic's path and not that of the Magician. Temperamentally I am more inclined to the former than the latter though I realize that the shadow lies in the Magician's path and have been forced upon it for the sake of some wrenching, humiliating and ultimately humbling encounters with shadow and the shadow of power and power of shadow. See my blogspot piece on "peaks and vales" that goes into this in more detail.
http://falconwarren.blogspot.com/2012/04/of-getting-low-down-and-vale-of-soul.html

OSHO [Bhagwan Rajneesh] discoursed (and I transcribe exactly from his English): "You start escaping into the other. Gather courage. Take a plunge into your being. Let us be acquainted with our own Center. Let us ask only one question, "Who am I?" All else is meaningless. Unless this question is answered all your love affairs, friendships are all nonsense. Unless this question is answered nothing is answered. Go into your aloneness. Let only one quest, "who am I?" And don't seek consolations because cheap consolations are available. The mind is very clever in supplying them. When you ask, "who am I?" and the mind can supply immediately and answer and the mind is very clever. Mind says, "You are god. You are a soul, immortal soul." These are the ideas in put by the Magician put in the heads of poor seep. The magician suggest to a few that you are lions, to few that you are eagles, to few that you are man, to few that you are even Magicians. That Magicians hypnotize the seep and told them that "you are immortal souls. Nobody can harm you ever. How [can] you be harmed? The Magician suggested [to] them that, "I am for you. I am the best master you can find ever and I exist for you. And I will do whatever is needed and I will do whatsoever is good for you. Even if I kill you I will be killing you just for your sake." You have been given these ideas by the society. Your mind is nothing but a projection of the society. It is society within you. The penetration of the society inside you. It is in the image of society. You have been told things and you have believed...this is not your answer. You have been taught by the Magician. I am not saying the answer is wrong or right. I am simply saying it is not your answer and when the answer is not yours it is wrong."

 
Active volcano, Popocatpetl, in Mexico.  

Monday, May 14, 2018

The Longest Road? From the Mother to the Front Door - Intentional and Unintentional Initiation, Disorientation, Reorientation

[Warren 6 year old & tipi]
"The longest road? From the mother to the front door." - I heard this in the 80's when I stumbled into a black and white "art" film (my tv was still black n white) from some Nordic country. Just images and then a male voice making statements. The above quote was almost immediate upon channel hopping into the film. I often attribute the quote to Carl Jung who wrote similarly regarding the male's initiation into mature masculinity marked by his shifting relationship to the personal mother (and known or not known, the Mother archetype).
The quote below is from Norman O. Brown's book (Brown is not Jungian but Freudian) of aphorisms/quotes, Love's Body, and has stuck with me since I read it years and years ago in my 20's. It still does. It sticks in my "craw" and at the same time is "crawl space" into some creative cave (mother = cave) dreaming around mothers and sons, mothers and men, and men's "fraternities" and "initiations" which serve to move boys out of the "mother tent" and into a more (one hopes, still hoping) mature relationship to mother/women. WARNING, Freudian language ahead. The first sentence is not by Brown but by Margaret Mead:
In the chapter "Nature", Brown writes:
...The transition from matriarchy to patriarchy is always with us, and gets us nowhere...

The fraternity is itself the mother. “The journey of initiation is ended. It goes from the mothers to the mothers. Although in reality the young man is henceforth to be separated from the mother, symbolically he is brought back to her…The young man is put into a hole and reborn--this time under the auspices of his male mothers.” Male mothers; or vaginal fathers: when the initiating elders tell the boys” we two are friends”, they show them their subincised penis, artificial vagina, or “penis womb.” The fathers telling the sons, “leave your mother and love us, because we too, have a vagina.” Dionysius, the god of eternal youth, and of secret societies was the twice born: Zeus destroyed his earthly mother by fire, caught the baby to his thigh, saying: “Come enter this my male womb.”…Male mothers; "shield bearing nurses", the political authorities...From the mothers to the mothers. The transition from matriarchy to patriarchy is always with us, and gets us nowhere.
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Now, I had a dream during my Jungian analysis that my penis had a scar the length of it that was more than scar. I was non-plussed in the dream...what the? and woke up in mystery. I had no recall of the Brown quote above. My analyst, a Hindu/Buddhism scholar, used the word "sub-incision" and spoke of its symbolism throughout many cultures of the world, mostly amongst primal cultures.
Seems I was having an initiation dream, or had had an initiation or was going to undergo yet another one. It turned out to be the latter. I won't go into it here but the dream heralded a painful ejection from a "mother's tent" which still repercusses in me to this moment. 
Exile
There is not a chapter titled "Exile" in Love's Body which I think Brown should have included.
What is most exile about exile out of the mothers is that the exile is into men, the Western male, mama's boys all, with all the wounding and immaturity, the violent swagger thereof. Never at home in this so-called father's tent, I have lived in limbo, in between. My unconscious middle-aged attempt to return to the mother's tent ended in eventual failure (and thank god it did). I got some golden things from that attempt (a more mature vocation by descending into several levels of hell disguised as Light). That failure was indeed an initiation out of the also wounded "mother tent" and into my nascent "monk" self which now knows that the psychological journey is indeed individuation = out of outer fraternities AND maternities and into more conscious, deeper relationship to what Jung calls the Self, the archetype of wholeness, which includes masculine, feminine and, most importantly, androgyny. 

Woke up from a dream last year hearing this:
He's gone crow said one poet of another.
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This morning I dreamed of yet another friendly "hang" with Barrack Obama (for me, a most postivie father/brother embodiment), warmth, laughter, great conversation. Outdoor picnic. Then the dream switched to me teaching/leading a reading group where we were reading John Gardner's Grendel, a new edition which had underlined parts (segments) in between the original text. There were 2 Catholic priests/monks who had joined the group late and could not find the passage that was being read and discussed. I pointed it out to them. NEXT one of the priest/monks asked me if I was a Catholic and was on the verge of steering the group into an attempt to evangelize/convert all of us or, especially, me. I was having none of that. Not yet at any rate. And cut him short while trying to be respectful but he was not going to be deterred, which is disrespectful, so I lambasted him in good Grendel fashion.
Individuation in dreams. And who are these monk/priests in me? My Gardner/Grendel side (Grendel was a mama's boy, half human, who wanted to leave her and join the King's tent (the King was his father). He was half monster and so was rejected and hated by the father and his "sons")...
How to hold these opposites. Gardner wrote his Grendel story, Beowulf, from the monster's point of view, with Jean Paul Sartre's existentialism in mind. Most excellent. That 2 Catholics show up in the reading group makes sense to me as they represent the opposite of Existentialism. And thus the conflict between faith and doubt goes on. Essence vs Existenz. Yada Yada. But for me this conflict is not nada. Though nada is nothing and yet is not nothing but it somehow matters.




Blah blah...I meander. I, Meanderthal, most enthralled by it all, this journey lived "in and out of the garbage pail" (Fritz Perls)...good scrubbings (and drubbings) in between which is where I live, in between. Jean Genet wrote beautifully of the in between or, more accurate, on the edge viz his late writing about a "tight rope walker" (his last long term partner/lover was a young Algerian circus performer, a tight rope walker, who died by, of course, plummeting from the rope while attempting to perform somersauts that Genet insisted he do). Friedrich Nietzsche's famous tight rope walker passages underscore (as does Genet's tight rope walker) alienation and liminality which, Carl Jung underscores, is part and parcel to the path of individuation. One who becomes marginal to the collective suffers but it is not meaningless suffering as the goal, the drive, is toward individuation which is an ongoing, dynamic, intense intimate and life sustaining relationship with Meaning/Mystery-as-Source. Or what can be made (imagined) of the encounter of self with Self/Wholly Other.

Yes. There are women's mysteries. There are men's mysteries. Both are to be undergone for growing an ego, developing character, and once there is a self or self-enough, a deeper relationship to Archetypal Self becomes more conscious (or can) and some of Mystery is attainable in terms of integration and understanding but in the end Mystery remains. Mystery may not be comprehensible but it is certainly apprehensible, grasped (prehensile) with ensuing articulations of that, as T.S. Eliots says, which is unsayable. Approximations. Hints. Glimpses. 

Some days (and most nights, at least for me) are existential. And some other days and nights are validations/almost-verifications of individual essence/being participating in Greater Essence/Being. Initiations provide such encounters. Or set up possibilities. And, undoubtedly initiations are woundings out of one state of being into another, are threshold and crisis where some parts of us die. Some parts make it over to the other side with us whoever that us now be as a result of the ordeal of the crossing - Who/what dies? Who/what is born? and who/what remains, has been brought with and over from the other side? We do bring over our personal mothers and fathers and do that work for a lifetime (lifetimes?). Although we may complete around mother/father as history and complex we work it one way or other till the end. But what do I know? Just making observations from the vantage of the parentheses I live in.

And then there are fathers with great big fat mother complexes so what is his son to do?


Turning Thighs To Diamonds

Or what man is there among you, of whom if his son 
shall ask bread, will he reach him a stone? - Matthew 7: 9


No blame shall stain us now, father.
The heavy ball you hit to me is never caught, 
a floppy glove always falls from a hesitant hand. 
Mars in you still storms the makeshift diamond. 
Each base of cardboard weighted with stone 
is still our house; a bat, a ball, a mitt, 
hard rules of the game undo all lust 
for dark heaven shunning shining girls.

I was reaching for god then - not your fault - a lavender 
boy early befriended by crows, already resigned to what 
was given and what was to come, a softball between the 
eyes, your attempt to guide me toward those diamond 
thighs which, you often repeated, were everywhere waiting.
I blink still before you, head down, focused on Lion's Teeth.**
I am your hard mystery, and soft, not so fast for I am fat 
and cannot round the bases quick. I am your inherited meek, 
a burden to shake into a sliding man furious for home.

At four I pluck a wild strawberry you point to, 
all authority and accidental grace. Revealing much, 
still dew wet, sticky to the touch, opening sourness 
deserves my frown. You laugh at my dawning smile 
for its sweetness slowly yields a surprise gift 
for what will always unite us, your fear that I too
will suffer your fate, untended desire gone to wildness 
brought low beneath branches, slow embrace of 
cradle-gentle boughs entangling legs and light 
between the greater shadows, 

and shadows shall win the day.

Still, these essential things are caught 
for all our mostly wasted days of practice, 

wild sweetness is a stolen base, 
the tongue an untended garden.



**Dandelion